Saturday, March 12, 2011

Angel raped and no on cares; A act of sexism?

Anyone notice any unfair treatment of raped men in movies and on TV shows? Hell, in society at large?

We see Darla sensually sliding down sleeping Angel's supposedly half-naked body in early season 2 of Angel. In First Impressions I think. Much like Willow did on top of Tara in OMWF. Angel had dreams where they kiss and do more, which are also "implying" that Darla has sex with him in his sleep. Not sure how she covered that up, the smell and stickyness, but I assume it was that dream-spell that was used.

In the episode Darla, we have this exchange, "acknowledging" the rape.

I really do want to pretend that Cordelia didn't actually say that in such a light tone, but she did, and it's pretty hard to pretend that she thought Darla was just "sitting" there. I think she knew there was sex things going on, and I think the writers intended us to think that. So it happened. It's canon.

So Angel got raped. Repeatedly. And no one seems to give much thought to it. It's not a "hush hush, it's too horrible to mention, let's move on from it" thing, it's a "It's so silly Angel didn't realize it was happening" thing. Wesley and Cordelia didn't care. Angel didn't seem to care. Which I guess isn't that weird; the guy is used to torture and humiliation, and probably thinks he had it coming. Bur Wesley and Cordelia not making a big deal about it? The writers not making a big deal about it? WTF?

Now, it's very wrong in itself, a character getting raped and no fuss being made, but I want to add another level of wrongness; sexism.

If this had happened to a woman, people would notice, and the writers would have made a big deal about it. Maybe I'm just paranoid, maybe they would have used it was a plot device whatever in that case as well, but seriously, don't we live in a society where it's much easier for us to see and accept female victims? And to ignore, even belittle, male victims?

If a girl gets her a** smacked at work, it's a BIG deal. A guy gets his a** tapped and complains, people tell him to be a man about it.

I saw 40 days and 40 nights expecting a light comedy, but what happens? The main guy gets raped by a his ex, because she want to win a bet. Do people seem outraged at this? The main character in schock, feeling filthy, the audience angry that this happens in a comedy? Nope. Not saying that all guys would take it that hard, being raped, but come on; someone had sex with him in his sleep. It's a big damn deal. But I rarely see that in RL of in pop culture; people caring about men being violated.

We think about how hard it must be for girls to come forward, but we don't think about the boys; the ones who aren't allowed to feel like victims. No, we're always aware that some men can turn violent. But we're not really prepared to deal with them being victims, are we?

Something else worth thinking about is girl on girl violence, and man on man. Now, if a girl raped a girl, how would people react? I think some who normally care about rape would shrug; "There's no *real* penetration, what the big deal? And it's not like girl's could actually have any evil intentions. Girls are harmless." Others might *overreact*; "OMG a girl did what? But girls are suppose to be nice. She's a abdomination!"

In Sweden, we had this guy, who he his junk got grabbed by a gay man in a bathroom and he hits that sexual harrassing jerk. Yay for him, I think, but people called him a homophob. WTF? The other way around is bad as well, when people act like a man hitting on another man, sexual harrassment or not, is outrageous, filthy, wrong, more so than "straight" harrassment.

So, what do you guys think? About the Angel incident or sexist rape in general? Do we need to stop teaching our fathers, brothers and sons that they're not just suppose to be nice to others, but demand that others are nice to them as well?

The true meaning of equality starts with that; equality.



Turns out she wasn't sliding down his body, when I re-watched the scene. Did not make me have less icky feelings though. Pretty clear she was about to rape him. Here's a transcript from the scene. LINK


  1. The writers weren't ignoring the seriousness of sexual assault because Angel is male. That is just how they handle those situations. I mean, look at how MANY times Buffy has been violated, nearly raped, and sci-fi raped (that category has things like the time Faith used a device to switch body's with Buffy against Buffy's will, got naked and masturbated in Buffy's body, and then had sex with a man while in Buffy's body).

    1. True, the writers often either didn't understand the seriousness of the acts they wrote, or choose not to deal with it, when it comes to women as well, but I feel the abuse of men on the show was taken even less serious. What Warren almost did to Katrina, what Xander tried to do to Buffy in the Pack and Spike to Buffy in Seeing Red was dealt with, and was clearly shown to be bad. But when the males of the show could be assualted there was no consequences. It could be they would have written the scene the same way if the genders were reversed, and Darla was male and Angel female, but in that case, it I guess it would at the very least have caused a bigger stir in the fandom and among the critics.

      Btw, when did the masurbation occure? Seems like something I would remember.